Getting Engaged During the Holiday Season, in GIFs

DID YOU HEAR THE NEWS?

Well probably not, since I didn’t say anything. Let me recap the week, starting last Tuesday.

1. There was an unexpected incident!

No, not her surprise album.
But it does rhyme with Beyoncé!

2. ME?!

3. OMG.

4. Time to get the word out. Let me get myself together, then we’ll have an indulgent photo shoot!

5. Here we go!

6. While I’m logged into Facebook, let’s see what’s new. Scanning the ol’ news feed … Oh, sweet! The boy I tutored in geometry 10 years ago got engaged today. So did that loud girl from my Frontiers and Controversies in Astrophysics section! Also on this week’s “He went to Jared” roster: some guy who punched the bouncer at my 22nd birthday party at Bigfoot Lodge when I first moved to L.A. (Why is he still on my friends list?)

Hey, wait a minute …

According to the immaculately lighted photos she just posted on Facebook, the girl from my 9:00a astro section (whom I haven’t said a single word to since 2007) had the best surprise engagement of all time. OF ALL TIME.

7. Eh, on second thought, maybe I’ll hold off on entering the scrum of holiday engage-mania on Facebook.

8. I’ll just stick to telling people in person. There’s always the joy of introducing your erstwhile boyfriend as your new fiancé. Right?

Ah, well. The only GIF that matters is this. Five days later, it still applies.