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The Gray Lady at Our White Wedding: Read About Violet on Orange in the New York Times!

The Gray Lady at Our White Wedding: Read About Violet on Orange in the New York Times!

Hello! Are you tired of my constant coverage of my Halloween wedding yet? Are you starting to suspect that I have that disorder the guy in Memento had, since I apparently must write, reminisce and loudly proclaim about my nuptials in every conceivable moment? As though […]

My Candid Wedding Photos Speak Volumes! But Do I Like What They Say?

My Candid Wedding Photos Speak Volumes! But Do I Like What They Say?

Hello! Today is my birthday. I proudly wrote last year of having removed my birthday info from Facebook. But apparently this year I got a taste of that sweet nectar of “long-forgotten friends’ barrage of well-wishes” after we went wide with our wedding. So for this […]

What Do You Buy A Man For His Non-Milestone Birthday?

What Do You Buy A Man For His Non-Milestone Birthday?

“Because love is taking that dive then getting really comfortable and peeing in the pool / And love is a real-life porn minus all the stuff that makes porn cool.” -Bo Burnham, “Love Is” I’m about to talk shit. *Cue up Taylor Swift’s “Bad Blood.”* […]

Spa Me The Embarrassment: Red Flower Treatment

Spa Me The Embarrassment: Red Flower Treatment

“It’s grind day, from Friday, to next Friday / I been up straight for nine days; I need a spa day.” -Big Sean, “Clique” The first major treatment Deepak and I went for was the “Red Flower Treatment.” Doesn’t that sound pleasant? Being a violet […]

The Wind Beneath My Bathing Suit Parts: I’m Not Cut Out for The Spa

The Wind Beneath My Bathing Suit Parts: I’m Not Cut Out for The Spa

I’m so fancy! You already know … –Charli XCX on Iggy Azalea’s “Fancy” I’m no fancy. I don’t play things cool. Conventional wisdom says that spas and salons provide relaxation and beauty. But on my latest trip there I realized they only give me anxiety […]

Hold Up, Wait a Minute. Put a Little Blog In It

Hold Up, Wait a Minute. Put a Little Blog In It

OK, the Oscar blog post cannot remain at the top of this page while I hurtle headlong towards the grave and my dermal tension gives up the ghost at a rate of 33 m/s^2. Oops! Didn’t I promise an exposé on inflated wedding venue costs […]

Had We But World Enough, and Time, This Slow Wedding Planning Were No Crime

Had We But World Enough, and Time, This Slow Wedding Planning Were No Crime

Mark it down in the daybook. February 11, 2014: The day I realized that you could literally devote unlimited time and bottomless resources to the plotting of your nuptials. Deepak and I have now been engaged nearly two whole months. And what do we have […]

I’m Ready to be a Mom! But Not Till I’m a Wife

I’m Ready to be a Mom! But Not Till I’m a Wife

Now that I have those Beyoncé pregnancy-related GIFs out of my system, let’s be candid. I’ve always been serious about settling down. I truly don’t care how unpopular, pathetic or retrograde this makes me seem. Just as Josh’s date, falsely quoting Hamlet, was corrected by […]