Plan Your Honeymoon Before You Plan Your Wedding!

OK. It’s time for some good, hard self-assessment:

I, Violet on Orange, put the cart so far before the horse that the horse is standing about 2 miles back, wondering what the reins are for.

Previously, I shared my experience of buying my wedding dress before becoming engaged. Also elaborated upon elsewhere in the blog: Why Wait?, Doubles as Miss Havisham costume!, R.I.P. Loehmann’s, Final Thoughts.

Still pre-plotting after all these years. (Disclaimer: Not that many years, but the act of pre-plotting really plays with one’s perception of time.)

No shortage on that topic here. Well, let’s delve into the next exciting chapter of my pre-nuptial, pre-purchase frenzy: This past weekend, Deepak and I shut ourselves in to book a honeymoon.

“Ooh, when’s the wedding?” you may ask. A: Not set.

“Hm, OK,” you’ll rejoinder cautiously. “Well, do you know what season? What … year?”
A: No.

Now you back away slowly, furtively keying the URL for “I Do, Now I Don’t” (that gimmicky clearinghouse offering used dresses, rings and other broken engagement baubles for the financially discriminate, yet non-bad juju-fearing set) into your phone.

Will we be noshing on these on the honeymoon? Random interlude, but I wanted to say Deepak won a box of these Trader Joe’s mushroom mochi potstickers at a giveaway, and they are delish!

Relax! The engagement is still on. By the by, I have found in my casual perusal that those broken engagement commerce sites offer 1) TERRIBLE values and 2) inventory that feels very era-specific. Example of both: Well, I might be willing to wear a 2005 Monique Lhullier tulle monstrosity with pick-ups and a princess-cut white gold ring with floating halo.

Still Drunk in Love™. Or, here at least, merely Drunk in London.

But I should at least have the benefit of paying retro prices — not the same prices you’d pay buying something either more classic or au courant from a wholesale store brand new, for goodness’ sake! — for these distinctly dated, mid-noughties-twinged items! (Side note: I cop to visiting these types of sites to scope potential purchases, not to contemplate sell-offs. I also do it to explore the human condition, as some of the listings contain hilarious/eye-opening rants about the nature of the seller’s broken engagement.)

Another recent favorite: overcooked Brussels sprouts. Honeymoon trip to België?

World map on one side; Lufthansa flight plan on the other; United booking site in the middle.

So why are we barreling ahead at full steam with the honeymoon before we’ve even booked the wedding? In my next post, I’ll explain the exigent travel situation that threw our whole weekend into a frenzy.

Perhaps this orangutan will help me stop procrastinating.