Planning proceeds apace! And I’ve uncovered another home truth in the course of my preparations. Ready?
First, settle in with your improbably sized chalice.
Violet on Orange Wedding Planning Truism #2: After you get engaged, all your female (and some male) married friends will kindly offer to help plan your wedding.
Corollary 1: The very act of having written, directed and starred in A Nuptial Production of any scale has qualified said scribe/auteur/starlet (i.e., the bride) to speak with alarming authority on issues including, but by no means limited to: linen rentals, event insurance, dress bustling, etc. Prior to her engagement/wedding, these issues were never on her radar.
By now, she’s undergone a rigorous indoctrination that has left her with enough specialized savvy to obtain a postgraduate degree. But she does not get to be called “Doctor.” Nor does she get to apply this information again. (*Knock wood!*) (Unless she wants to become an Elizabeth Taylor.) (That is, Elizabeth Taylor avant her 8th marriage, and prior to the dotage-induced dottiness.)
This is a 2007 Associated Press video showing Elizabeth Taylor’s response to being asked whether she had married her (purportedly gay) companion Jason Winters:
When I worked at Entertainment Tonight, my fellow PAs and I would 1) regularly scream this entire exchange at each other across the soundstage, and 2) edit the clip randomly into raw footage of unrelated Z-list red carpet arrivals. Classic.
Corollary 2: Take your friends up on their kind offers to help!
Lots of people have sweetly volunteered things and/or offered all kinds of advice about everything from wedding to marriage to childbirth (OMG, yes, I want to go natural and no episiotomy!). Please keep all of this coming!
