Remember that Dana Carvey SNL skit where he, as Tom Brokaw, pre-records a slew of different death announcements for Gerald Ford, “just in case”? That is us, planning this wedding. “Deepak and Violet’s nuptials were interrupted today at the senseless hour of 5:07 p.m. by an escaped pack of banquet hall-prowling timberwolves. A full refund is expected.”

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