People Are Judging You Based on the Length of Your Engagement

I’ve always hoped to chart a graceful course between the Charybdis of the premature Pinterest board the and the Scylla of the interminable affiancement.

No deadline to starve myself into a wedding dress ... so bring on our fourth round of desserts!

No deadline to starve myself into a wedding dress … so bring on our fourth round of desserts!

To be fair, my ship has veered more than slightly towards the former. I’m a Georgia transplant to California, after all — what better cover could there be for bleating loudly and proudly about my domestic desires (6 kids ASAP, pls) and jewelry tastes (it’s never too early in the relationship to proclaim to your boyfriend, apropos of absolutely nothing — “Pavé is PASSÉ!” / “Halo? Hell, no.” / Or the chillingly factual: “Marquise cut is the cut whose wearers have the highest divorce rate.” Hey, you can’t leave these things to chance and innuendo.)

Not sure what this nice lady's stance on interminable engagement was.

I think I have an idea about this nice lady’s stance on interminable engagement.

Anyway, lately we are drifting back towards no-plans-on-the-books Scylla. I’m reminded of this upon remembering that the trip we just took to Italy was to be our honeymoon. This was a random designation, albeit, which I had meant to blog about but ran out of time (précis: Deepak and I booked no fewer than 7 round-the-world trips on Star Alliance carriers upon learning that United was devaluing frequent flier miles).

Deepak and I joked that this porphyry statue of The Four Tetrarchs, affixed to St. Mark's Basilica in Venice, brings to mind my penchant for movement-restricting PDA. Clingin' on for love/the durability of the Roman Empire!

Deepak and I joked that this porphyry statue of The Four Tetrarchs, affixed to St. Mark’s Basilica in Venice, brings to mind my penchant for movement-restricting PDA. Clingin’ on for love/the durability of the Roman Empire.

Echoes of the Tetrarchs?

Echoes of the Tetrarchs?

This seems to illustrate the point better (yikes)

This seems to illustrate the point better (yikes)

Though it's less evident when I'm annoyed at our being lost

Though it’s less evident when I’m annoyed at our being lost

And/or excited for the rain that shortened the prohibitively long lines at All'Antico Vinaio in Florence!

… and/or excited for the rain that shortened the prohibitively long lines at All’Antico Vinaio in Florence

I’m no longer bothered by our casual drifting towards the altar. My grandmother certainly has her pointed comments, but they come in pretty muted from her perch in South Cackalacky. (She has always shared such gems of wisdom as: “Never play baseball till he furnishes the diamond!” Hm. Now that he’s dutifully furnished a non-pavé/non-halo/non-marquise, does this mean she’s OK with any hypothetical premarital roundings of home plate?)

Spectre of death be creepin'. Hopefully we can hold him off long enough to get some flattering wedding photos in.

Spectre of death be creepin’. Hopefully we can hold him off long enough to get some flattering wedding photos in.

What a relief! The style of this sculpture, I mean. Not the seemingly eternal wait for our vow exchange.

What a relief! The style of this sculpture in the Eternal City, I mean. Not the seemingly eternal wait for our vow exchange.

How could I complain about such a life? I’ll just use this time and these travels to get ideas for my “Cute Reception Ideas!” pinboard.

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